The Devil's Beat (The Devil's Mark) Read online

  Nothing more was said along those lines because there was a yell from the kitchen that got everyone's attention. There was a series of banging noises and more yelling, and then Josh was carried through the kitchen door. Big Al's body had him by one arm and one leg and was parading him around over its... ah... neck, like it was in a pro-wrestling match.

  “Aw crap!” yelled Max. He ran towards the flailing Josh. This was just what he needed. It would probably scare poor Alice to death, and then, she would turn into swamp thing and eat them all. Of all the stupid timing! He caught up with Al's body and tried to peel his fingers away from Josh. Al's body pulled Josh back away from Max and kicked out at Max's knees. Fortunately, for said knees, the kicks didn't have any real direction to them, and Al's legs were too short to actually connect in any meaningful way. Max struggled to release Al's grip without success. It didn't help that he found himself looking down into Al's trachea. It was gray and white and looked like a bloodless picture from a biology textbook. Max swallowed back bile and called out over Josh's yelling, “Vlad! Help! He's too strong for me.”

  In an instant, Vlad was at his side. He reached up and, accompanied by the cracking of bones, pried Josh's arms and legs free. Josh fell to the ground and scrambled away, favoring his severely bruised arm and leg. He was yelling at Al's body, “Dude! That is soooo uncool man! Uncool!”

  Meanwhile Vlad lifted Al's energetically kicking and flailing body and schlepped it back into the kitchen.

  Immediate crisis passed, Max turned anxiously to Alice, afraid of what he might see. He breathed a sigh of relief. She was standing there, still normal size, not showing any sprouting fur. Her eyes were wide with astonishment, but she didn't look like she was going to lose it any time soon. Max rushed to her side. “Alice, are you alright?

  She looked at him, her astonished face still showing some red puffiness of her crying. “Was that the Mayor?”

  Max said, “Uh, yeah, sort of. At least we think so.”

  “What happened to his head?”

  Max shook his head. “We don't really know, we found him that way in the driveway, just before you got here.”

  Meanwhile, Josh had pulled himself to his feet. “Dude! I think he broke my arm, man!” Max looked at Josh, fleetingly grateful that he wasn't the decrepit, nude, stoner that he had been last week. Alice stepped over to Josh. “Here hon, let me take a look.”

  Josh obliged by showing her his injury. Max explained to him, “She's an emergency room nurse.”

  “Whoa, that is like totally convenient, ya know?” Alice smiled at him and took his arm. “Ouch, dude! That's painful. Hey wait, before you like do that I've got some pain meds in the music room.” He headed for said room, and Alice trailed behind, asking if he had any first aid supplies.

  Vlad appeared in the kitchen doorway at the far end of the hall. “Someone else is here.”

  Josh detoured to the front window on the way to the music room. He took one look out the window, spun. “Dudes! It's the Feds!”

  Back In Black

  Alice walked up next to him to see what was going on. Josh turned back to look some more. The heavy pulse of “The Mob Rules” by Black Sabbath blasted from the music room.

  Max was processing what the song might mean when the window and Josh's head exploded simultaneously. Vlad was the only one of the group who didn't scream. Moving like lightning, he tackled Alice to the floor, then stood up and jumped through the window. At least that was the plan. Mid jump, it looked like a giant fist caught him in the midriff and he was propelled back into the room in another spray of bright crimson blood and body bits.

  While Max and Mike were standing stock still in the middle of the hall in shock, Alice was in motion, checking on Josh and then Vlad. They were pretty easy diagnosis since most of Josh's face and the entire back of his head was totally gone, and Vlad had a grapefruit sized hole in the back of his chest. Alice was covered in blood and gore as she announced their demise. She simply said, “They're both dead.

  There was another gunshot, and this time, both Max and Mike fell to the floor.

  Mike yelled at Max, “Holy shit, Max, who are these guys?”

  Max shook his head and belatedly yelled to Alice, “Alice, come away from the window!” She had already been in motion and was soon beside him. When Max looked at her, there was something feral growing in her eyes.

  Max said, “Keep it together, Alice.”

  She shuddered and took a deep breath. She said between gritted teeth, “It's hard...”

  Through the open window, they heard a car pulling up to the front. After a few long moments, there was the sound of doors opening and thunking solidly closed, followed by feet on the gravel.

  There was a knocking at the door, followed by a man's voice. He said, “Hey, sorry about that Max! No one was supposed to start shooting till we had talked!”

  Max recognized the man's Jersey twang. Unsurprisingly, it was Tony, his ex-accountant. Max gritted his teeth in impotent fury. Tony yelled again, his voice coming clearly through the blown out window to the right of the door. “Come on out Max! I'm sure we can come to an equitable arrangement! I promise, I won't shoot you if yer good.”

  Max looked at Mike and Alice. “Get back in the kitchen, this is my problem.” He didn't wait to watch Mike take his advice nor see Alice ignore it with an angry snarl.

  Fury and loathing filled Max as he went to the front door. He threw it open to reveal Tony's familiar short form standing on the threshold. Several goons with large caliber weapons loomed behind him. Max quailed when he saw one of them was his old body guard Paul Haze. Max had no doubt about who had taken out Vlad. Max wrenched his attention back to Tony. He was partially balding and had a big Italian nose. He sported a neatly trimmed beard to compensate for the hair loss and he was built like a short linebacker. He smiled hugely at Max, threw his arms wide. “Maxy! Good to see you! Aren't you going to invite us in?”

  Max's face was a study in hate, as he backed away from the door. Tony walked in and looked around the place in frank appraisal, leaving the team of thugs accompanying him outside. He said, “Maxy, this place is a dump! Not at all appropriate for a man of your financial stature!”

  He glanced left and saw the two bodies lying in a mass of blood and gore. He said, “Sorry about the mess, Maxy boy. One of my men was a little too eager.” He smiled at Max. “You know how boys can be... Anyway, I'll make sure he's properly chastised.”

  I doubt it. “What do you want?” Max’s heart leaped into his throat when the theme from Jaws started playing from the music room.

  Tony stepped up to Max, reached up, and patted him on the cheek fondly. “Maxy! I want what's best for both of us. I just want to resume my...”

  Max never got to discover what Tony wanted to resume because at that instant, there was a scream from the front gallery as a shadow flew past the door frame and smacked one of the heavily armed thugs to the ground. There was more screaming and shots. Tony and Max rushed to the door to see the remaining men in disarray. They were shouting at each other.

  “What the hell was that?”

  “I don't know. It just ripped poor Mark's head right off!”

  “Holy mother of God! Look at that thing!”

  Max leaned out the door to see what the hugely muscled muscle was pointing at with such fear.

  It was the most disturbing thing Max had ever seen, which is saying a lot considering what he had seen lately. It looked at first like a pile of limbs and other body parts stuck in silly putty. Its central body was a mass of bulbous and lumpy flesh. The mound had what looked like a couple of legs flailing in the air and two arms asymmetrically sticking out from it as well. It was covered in blood and was holding the bloody head of one of Tony’s toughs in one of its hands. Max recognized him as one of his ex-bodyguards. That wasn't even the most disturbing part. What was worse was the fact that there were several animal heads attached to the body at various odd places and angles. Even worse, the head of the Mayor oc
cupied a position of pride at the highest point on the central mass, which appeared to be a set of muscular buttocks. All the heads were horribly alive, and they were all examining the head of the ex-brute.

  Paul fired his shotgun at the unholy thing. There was a splash of flesh and a hole appeared briefly in the central mound. What looked like a mass of scar tissue quickly covered it over. Without making a single squeak, chirp, howl, or yell, the thing dropped the head and charged. It scuttled like a spider on stiff white legs, and it was fast.

  Tony cried, “Everyone! Back in the house!”

  Nobody seemed to feel this was a bad idea. Everyone dove for the doorway. There was a momentary plug of over-muscled bodies, but everyone got in, and one of the men slammed the door moments before something impacted it from the outside. The door shuddered, and the man slammed his back against it and pushed for all he was worth.

  Meanwhile, Tony turned on Max where he had backed away from the door. He screamed, “What in the name of Mother Mary is that thing!”

  Max shook his head. “I don't know! It's been leaving headless bodies at my door for days now!”

  There was motion from the bloody bodies to Max's right. He looked over to see a very confused Josh, splashed bright red and groaning, struggling to his feet. One of the men screamed and shot Josh again. Josh was blown backwards with a hole in his chest to match Vlad’s and dropped to the floor motionless again.

  Tony turned fright-crazed eyes to Max. He yelled, “What the fuck!” He raised his gun and fired. Max ducked and dove to the floor unnecessarily since the bullet was aimed above his head. Suddenly, there was a large hairy mass, which jumped over Max and onto Tony. The thing let loose a fearful howl and started tearing into the unfortunate mob accountant. The remaining men were screaming even more.

  “Shoot it!”

  “No! You'll hit the boss!”

  “Fuck that, move!”

  Paul, the quicker thinking man of the group, whipped up a large gun and took aim at the beast that was savaging Tony right in front of Max. As fierce as she was, Max strongly doubted Alice was bullet proof, even in this form.

  He screamed “No!” and tried to lurch forward to stop the Paul. Max was too late. Unfortunately for Paul, so was he. There was a blur of motion, a gout of blood, and the clatter of the gun on the floor as his arm was ripped from its socket and then used like a baseball bat on his head. The remaining men were obviously well trained, they screamed, but they didn't flee. They started unloading their guns into Paul’s assailant, a pissed off Vlad, as he gave a final smack to Paul’s still body on the floor.

  Max winced with each impact on Vlad, but the smaller caliber bullets didn't seem to disturb the vampire much. He just took Paul's detached arm and started using it as a club. The arm broke on another thug’s head so Vlad tossed it aside and started using his own hands.

  Of the two guardsmen who remained standing, Nunzio was the quicker one. He pointed his handgun at Max and screamed, “Call them off! Call them off or I will kill you!”

  Max panicked at the sight of the open gun barrel pointed at him. He threw his arms in the air and scarcely noticed when a body, carried by a couple of translucent clouds, flew between himself and Nunzio’s gun. It smacked headfirst into the wall and dropped motionless to the floor.

  Max started to tell everyone to stand down when Nunzio was slammed from the side by the howling, hairy, and royally pissed off Alice. Unfortunately for Max, Nunzio squeezed off a shot before he was taken down. The bullet slammed into Max's chest. He went down in a shower of blood and pain.

  When he was able to think again, the rest of the house was quiet. The pain in his chest was incredible. The impact seemed to have knocked the air out of his lungs and he found himself gasping for breath.

  While Max was trying to breathe, Josh sat up again, looked around. “Whoa dudes! What did I miss?”

  Max's breath just wouldn't come back. He noticed that everything around him was getting dim and blurry, then he looked up into the face of the abominable snowman from the old Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer Christmas special. Only it was green. It bent over him snarling and carrying the fetid smell of a drying swamp in the heat of summer. It reached down and grabbed Max who could only think, “Oh shit,” before he was hit with blinding pain.

  He came to, still in pain and utterly overwhelmed by the smell surrounding him. The bumble (as it was called by Yukon Cornelius) was holding Max and rumbling. He looked over at Vlad crouched in front of the creature with narrowed eyes. Vlad looked like he was ready to attack. Max tried to shake his head and say “No.” He got the word out, but it brought some blood with it.

  From behind the fetid, hairy monster holding Max, Mike said, “Vlad, don't hurt her, she's trying to help.”

  Vlad instantly relaxed and uncrouched, but apparently, the fun wasn't quite over.

  Behind Vlad, the door to the house crashed inward upon the mangled bodies of several of the former toughs. The nightmare thing scuttled onto the sloping the door and into the house. Vlad whirled to confront it and went back into his crouch. Momentarily, the thing paused, and all the heads looked at Vlad. It seemed that the body had not quite hooked up the Mayor's head because it was just mouthing words.

  It charged at Vlad. Max's body tried to release a jolt of adrenalin and Max tried to cry out a warning, but all that came out was a bloody cough.

  Max's head flopped back, and saw nothing else as the cold, smelly blackness claimed him. I wonder what hell is like...

  Sister Morphine

  To his surprise, Max woke up in a hospital bed. The lights were dimmed, and there were white curtains drawn around him to give him some illusion of privacy. There were various beeping machines and IV bags surrounding Max. The first thing he noticed was that his chest still really hurt. The next was Alice, sitting in a chair next to his bed. She was leaning forward on her arms and either asleep or looking at the floor.

  Max said in a raspy, painful voice, “Alice?”

  It turned out that Alice was not asleep. She looked up, and her tired, worried face adopted a warm smile. She said, “Max! Welcome back.”

  Max croaked, “What...”

  Mike walked into the room with two white foam coffee cups. He said, “Maxy boy! Good to see you awake, bud!”

  Mike handed one of the coffees to Alice and then both stood next to the bed looking at him, relief and fondness plain on both of their faces.

  “You had us worried, bud. That old grim reaper almost had you.”

  Max tried to speak, but Alice put her warm hand on his arm. “Shhh, Max. Save your strength. The bullet punctured your lung and shattered your scapula. You are going to have a long haul ahead of you, but you should be okay. You might have a little difficulty with your arm and your breath, but we can work on that with physical therapy.”

  “...hurt...”

  Alice looked at him. “I'm not surprised, hon, you took quite a beating. I'll see if we can't get you another shot of morphine.

  “Dude, I got better shit than that,” said Josh, stepping through the curtain. “I mean, don't get me wrong. Morphine's a good start, but it won't get you to Gondwanaland by itself. It needs some help. Here let me find...” He started searching through his satchel.

  Alice scowled at Josh. She said, “We aren't trying to get him high, Josh, just help with the pain.”

  Josh shook his head. “That's The Man talking, dude. Ain't no use in wasting a perfectly good opportunity...”

  “No, Josh,” said Alice with a cold glint in her eye.

  Josh threw his hands up in surrender. “It's cool! It's cool! Don't go all green on me. I'm just sayin...”

  “Stop saying it.”

  “Yes, ma'am.”

  Alice looked compassionately at Max. “I'll go get the doc and see what we can do about that pain.” She left with a warning glare at Mike and Josh. She said, “Don't get him excited,” before the curtain closed behind her.

  Mike watched her leave and then turned to Max. In a par
aphrase of the old Hulk television show, he said, “Don't make her angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry.”

  Max looked at him and whispered, “What... happened?”

  Mike said, “Everyone who counts is alive and well, present company excepted. It's a good thing Sheriff Wayne never came back, ‘cause it would have been very difficult to explain all the blood and nasty bits.”

  Max thought about this for a moment. “Mayor?”

  Mike frowned. “Well, in all the excitement, we, uh left the door open, and the mayor kind of escaped.”

  Alice came bustling back in. As she fiddled with Max's IV, she said, “His poor wife. We have to tell her something, but I'm afraid that she would probably just keel over and die of a heart attack.”

  The pain started receding for Max as the morphine made it directly into his bloodstream. “Tha's good stuff...” he murmured.

  Alice smiled. “Yes, it is.” She looked at Josh and Mike. “Come on boys, let him sleep.”

  Josh said, “Can Vlad come in and say howdy? I left him outside, but the dude wants to make sure we're treating Maxy right.”

  “Why didn't he just come in with you?” asked Mike.

  Josh scratched his scraggly beard. “Well, it's a matter of timing thing.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, we didn't want to scare anybody.”

  “He's not that scary looking,” said Mike. “As long as they don't know who he is, it should be alright.”

  There was a rapid clicking sound outside Max's curtain-defined world, then Vlad was there, throwing open the curtain as if making a grand entrance onto a stage. He said, “It is not me of whom everyone would be scared.” He turned and gestured down to a point behind him. “It is my body.”

  Max could only see the tops of arms and legs of the thing Vlad was talking about. It was the hellish creature from the house. He tensed up in fear, and one of the multiple monitors connected to him started beeping in annoyance.